Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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