bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
