i think my mom watched the whole time
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
