i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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