Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
