I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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