my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
