You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
