So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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