Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
