sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When did angry sex become our thing?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I am available for nakedness
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