we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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