Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
