Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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