I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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