he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
