i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
