chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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