The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
