if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
