i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You've changed since you got that strap on
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
