If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
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