we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
