I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
