Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
