I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
