I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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