I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
