once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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