I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
