apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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