we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
