i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
