Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The cops high fived after they tackled you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
