super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
