Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
