don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
