The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Michael Bay diarrhea
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
