Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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