Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
