dude i'm inner monologue high
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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