oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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