She said her name was "party"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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