If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
