first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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