Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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