But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
