i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
