so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
