so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
