Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
