I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
