after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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