Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Can't talk, ducks in the car
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
