didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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