Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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